


A Fanmix for alafaye's "Regrets and Apologies and Coming Home"

by telm_393 (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Digital Art, Fanmix, Gen, Marvel Universe Big Bang 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/telm_393
Summary: As it says, a fanmix for alafaye's "Regrets and Apologies and Coming Home", written for the 2016 Marvel Big Bang. This also includes a cover for the story, a cover for the fanmix, and a CD-style back side.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alafaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/gifts).



> Thank you so much to alafaye for writing such a great fic, and to the marvel-bang mods for hosting this lovely challenge!

[ ](http://s1376.photobucket.com/user/telm_393/media/Regrets%20and%20Apologies%20and%20Coming%20Home%20by%20alafaye/COMING%20HOME%20COLLAGE%20smaller_zpstfydwadn.jpg.html)

_Story Cover_

 

 

**[FANMIX ON 8TRACKS](http://8tracks.com/telm_393/fanmix-regrets-and-apologies-and-coming-home) **

1)

“Bucky said he could remember flashes of his time under -- so why would he do that? Steve had heard his reasons, but hadn't understood. He had felt sure if Bucky had given it a little more time, someone would have figured it all out. Now, with Bucky under, there was no rush to figure out how to stop Bucky from being triggered.

Steve wished he'd thought to ask Bucky if there was another reason.”

**The Decemberists - “Sleepless”**

_hand it over (hand it over)/hand it over, ooh/you’re weary, lay him down/you did your time so thank you very much/hand it over (hand it over)/hand it over, ooh/so now your hopes are all allayed/but you hand them all away…_

2)

“Clint took a deep breath. ‘Do you think I wouldn't do my homework? That I wouldn't know everything when I answered the call? I knew that if I helped you, I would be a criminal. But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I have kids, Cap. Every parent wishes their kid will live their life normally, sleep and work and eat dinner and repeat. Quiet, easy. But just maybe it's my kid in the future who wants to do some good, not as a fire fighter or a police officer or a soldier. Maybe my kid is going to want to be a superhero. Join the Avengers.

‘The Accords will assume my kid's a criminal. That's what the Accords are. It's not like the accountability for the police, for the army. The Accords assume that if people like you and I, if we're not leashed and collared, we will destroy lives. Murder people. Decimate cities. It's saying we need to be on a registry, on watch, and told exactly to do and when and only after it's decided we're of use. Me? I've had enough of people telling me that all I'm good for is breaking the law. It's why I joined SHIELD, why I joined the Avengers. So people can live freely without being assumed to be a future criminal. So if my kid turns up with powers, if they just plain want to be a hero, they can be and they will be trusted.’”

**P!nk - “Are We All We Are”**

_we are the people that you’ll never get the best of/not forget the rest of, rest of/just sing it loud until the kids’ll sing it right back/are we all we are?/are we all we are?_

3)

“[Tony] grinned, but it quickly faded. ‘There's more to it than just how we chose to not follow the Accords.’ He opened up the file that detailed potential plans for experiments -- such as pushing Wanda to lose control so they could measure how easily they could forcibly contain her. And that was the mildest of the experiments listed.

[Natasha] froze next to him, looking at the information. ‘So whoever leaked the information, has this as well?’ He nodded and she straightened. ‘We have to do something about this. T'Challa will help us.’

He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m assuming you're actually not planning on solving this on your own since you're still here,’ she said. ‘So what we need are allies. T'Challa still agrees with the Accords, but he sees them in a different light after everything that happened.’

He nodded. ‘I hear Wakanda is nice this time of year.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Let me make that call. I'm a better diplomat than you.’”

**The Killers - “From Here On Out”**

_hey, from here on out/friends are gonna be hard to come by/left us wonderin’ what it all was about/you had it easy, man, you chose the hard way/walk that old lonely road in the shadow of a doubt/from here on out._

4)

“Sam shrugged. ‘We've all got our opinions. Rhodey wants to change the system from within. He thinks that will work. Is he right? I don't know. None of us do. But just because we're both black doesn't mean we have the same hopes or opinions. We're different people, Steve. I don't know whether we can change anything from within. Or whether _just_ from the inside. Maybe between us and Tony's people, maybe we can both work together to fix this.’

‘You're awfully optimistic that all of this can be sorted,’ Steve said.

Sam nodded. ‘When you grow up in fear, you learn how to roll with it when you get thrown another curve ball like this. Sometimes hope is all we have.’”

**Public Enemy - “Fight the Power”**

_to revolutionize make a change nothing’s strange/people, people, we are the same/no we’re not the same/‘cause we don’t know the game/what we need is awareness, we can’t get careless/you say, what is this?/my beloved, let’s get down to business/mental self-defensive fitness/yo, bum rush the show/you gotta go for what you know/make everybody see, in order to fight the powers that be/lemme hear you say/fight the power!_

5)

“Since [T’Challa] had given refuge to the wanted Avengers, he'd made it clear where Wakanda stood on the Accords. However, he realized that all of this was messier than it looked on the outside. It had seemed simple, in the beginning. The AI, Jarvis, had made a clear case for it when he published in a magazine on how power invites challenge. If one were to leash the Avengers, leash people who appeared dangerous, then it would be clear that no challenge would be needed. However, with the leak, the hole in such appeared; a leash wasn't merely a leash -- it was instead a cage where rights were violated.”

**The Neighbourhood - “Everybody’s Watching Me (Uh Oh)**

_the more i want in, the more i want in/the less i know, the less i know/but i forgot it, i forgot it/i’ll be alone, i’ll be alone, i’ll be alone/with everybody watching me…_

6)

“‘I am sorry because you slept for so long and when you woke up,’ Charles closed his eyes, looking pained, ‘nothing had changed. It has, in some ways, gotten worse.’

Steve swallowed. ‘It almost feels like I've been led to this point. When I was running from SHIELD, I ran into Zola. Or rather, what he'd made himself into. He said Hydra had created a world in which people were willing to exchange their privacy for their security. ‘

‘No one truly wants that,’ Charles said. ‘In the end, what we all want is to be fed, to be warm, to have a good roof over our heads, and to feel safe. For most people, they don't worry about the people next door because they've been told everyone in their neighborhood are good people. They look the same. They act the same. People have been told this by the same people who have demonized others. Their culture is different, or they're not human, or they look differently which is perceived as a threat. But it's a grand lie to get something else. It's what Hydra wanted. It's ever so easy. Just as easy as it is to forget the petty things we all worry about during the day and remember that what we really want is the same as what everyone wants.’

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. ‘We got through the depression because we helped each other.’

‘Then why don't you do the same, Captain?’ Charles asked.”

**Rise Against - “People Live Here”**

_my dreams are not unlike yours/they long for safety/and break like a glass chandelier/but there’s laughter and oh, there is love/just past the edge of our fears/and there’s chaos when push comes to shove/but it’s music to my ears/may you be in heaven before the devil knows you’re dead/may these winds always be at your back/‘cause when we’re all just ghosts/and the madness overtakes us/we’ll look at the ashes and say:/ people lived here._

7)

“T’Challa tapped his screen and the computer made a beep. ‘[Ross] issued an arrest warrant and a statement that if you turn yourself in, Stark, nothing more will happen.’

As if on cue, Tony's phone rang. He held it up. ‘Pepper. Probably asking where I am and why I haven't turned myself in yet.’

Clint took a deep breath and pointed at Tony. ‘You've fucked up good this time. If I find out that this is a ruse to get us arrested again, I'm coming for your hide.’

Tony held up his hands. ‘Fair. You can have first dibs, too.’”

**Barenaked Ladies - “Call and Answer”**

_so if you call, i will answer/and if you fall, i’ll pick you up/and if you court this disaster/i’ll point you home/ but i’m warning you, don’t ever do/those crazy messed-up things that you do/if you ever do/i promise you i’ll be the first to crucify you/now it’s time to prove you’ve come back here/to rebuild, rebuild, rebuild…_

8)

“Tony shrugged. ‘So don't trust me. I know my own track record. I can admit that sometimes I can't see the trees for the forest; I can't turn my brain off, Steve. It's in overdrive and it makes me act sometimes before thinking.’

‘Because humans aren't machines,’ Steve told him. ‘We're not numbers you plug into an equation and then solve for x.’

Tony half smiled. ‘I remember that one. Dad said it was one of Peggy's favorite sayings.’

Steve took a deep breath. ‘She would trust you. She often said during the war that Howard was a bastard, but you could trust him to get you through to the end. Because that was what a Stark was made of.’

Tony shook his head, looking exasperated. ‘Steve... I don't know if I can get us through to the end of this. This time, I'm lost. I don't know what to do. And it scares the shit out of me. Everything fell apart. I couldn't have foreseen any of this. And I don't... If I couldn't have seen that…’

Steve got up and carefully walked toward Tony. Tony looked desperate, in need of something that Steve wasn't sure he could give him. He put his hand on Tony's shoulder. ‘We'll see together then.’”

**Marina and the Diamonds - “I Am Not a Robot”**

_you’re vulnerable, so vulnerable/you are not a robot/you’re lovable, so lovable/but you’re just troubled…_

9)

“[Natasha] crossed her arms and looked down into the room. ‘Tony is beginning to realize that he can't make everyone do what he wants just because he thinks or knows he's right. And that he isn't the center of the world. Ever since Afghanistan, he's been changing as everyone does when their world is destroyed. He didn't react very well—his anxiety, PTSD, manifested as a need to control everyone so no one else is hurt the way he was. He's beginning to realize he can't save the world on his own.’

She turned away, seemingly to watch Bucky wake up. ‘I’m not sure if you'll do the same.’

[Steve] blinked. ‘I’m sorry?’

She half smiled. ‘No one can save the world on their own. That's how the Avengers should work, Steve. We're all of us here to save the world—together.’”

**Doves - “Kingdom of Rust”**

_my god, it takes an ocean of trust/takes an effort it does/my god, it takes an ocean of trust/it’s in the kingdom of rust/i long to feel that wince in my heart/as i went looking, i couldn’t stop/now i’m waiting for you._

10)

“Tony narrowed his eyes at her. She tilted her head, assessing and weighing. ‘The report here says he would not have killed your parents if those holding him had not made the decision to use a blank slate.’

Natasha saw the moment Tony got it. He was still angry and likely would be for a long time, directing it unfairly to Bucky who would take the blame, but there likely would not be any more trouble. Wanda must have seen it, too, because Natasha saw her wave her hands.

Tony sagged right down to the floor, leaning against a chair. Steve gave his shield to Bucky who looked blankly at it. Natasha saved him the trouble by taking it off his hands. He looked grateful.”

**Creedence Clearwater Revival - “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?”**

_someone told me long ago/there’s a calm before the storm/i know, it’s been comin’ for some time/when it’s over, so they say/it’ll rain a sunny day/i know, shinin’ down like water…/i wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?/i wanna know, have you ever seen the rain/comin’ down on a sunny day?_

11)

"We spin nothing," Steve began. "We only present what facts we have…”

**Emeli Sandé - “Read All About It, Pt. III”**

_you’ve got a heart as loud as lions/so why let your voice be tamed?/baby, we’re a little different/there’s no need to be ashamed/you’ve got the light to fight the shadows/so stop hiding it away/come on, come on…_

12)

“‘Tony's learned his lesson, I think,’ Clint told Bucky. ‘Wouldn't hurt Steve.’

Bucky pressed his lips together for a moment. ‘No one ever intentionally hurts Steve.’

Clint looked down at his hands. ‘But he does make it hard to not hurt him.’

‘Suppose in a way,’ Bucky conceded. ‘He's got some pretty high standards.’

Clint smirked. ‘He wouldn't say so.’

‘If only we could all be as decent as he wants us to be,’ Bucky muttered.”

**Laura Marling - “Night Terror”**

_if i look back and he is screaming, i’d left him dreaming/the dangers fade/and i’ll run back and shake him tightly and scream/if they want him, oh, they’re gonna have to fight me/oh, fight me…_

13)

“Tony's eyes wandered, as they did when he was trying to figure something out. ‘I never apologized. I just... I should have stopped to actually talk it out. I thought I could force things through and talk it out after.’

‘Enough, Tony,’ Steve swore. ‘We've been through this song and dance. Should we have talked about it? Yeah. But we thought we knew best and acted. We know better now for the future.’

‘Do we have a future?’ Tony asked.

Steve cautiously put his hand on Tony's knee. ‘I think we could. If we try. If we let others help us and we don't let our tempers get the better of us.’

Seconds later, while Steve's heart tried to rabbit out of his chest, he felt Tony cover his hand. When Steve looked up, Tony smiled. ‘We'll try.’”

**Fun. - “All Alright”**

_i’ve given everyone i know/a good reason to go/i was surprised you stuck around/long enough to figure out/ that it’s all alright/i guess it’s all alright/i got nothing left/inside of my chest/but it’s all alright…_

14)

“[T’Challa said,] ‘And it is time we, all of us, regardless of any small difference, come together to meet the future together.’”

**Matisyahu feat. Akon - “One Day”**

_it’s not about win or lose/we all lose/when they feed on the souls of the innocent/blood drenched pavement/keep on moving, though the waters stay raging/in this maze you can lose your way (your way)/it might drive you crazy/but don’t let it faze you, no way (no way)…_

15)

“Tony was last out, but rather than go with the others, he stayed shoulder to shoulder with Steve. ‘I missed this.’

Steve couldn't stop his grin. ‘There's nothing like coming home.’

‘I think everyone's going to be happy we're all back,’ Tony offered.

‘Are you?’ Steve asked. ‘Missing it and being happy to be home are two different things.’

Tony smirked. ‘Home isn't a place. It's our people, Steve. We're all here again so I've been happy since I flew into Wakanda with Natasha.’”

**The Mountain Goats - “Love Love Love”**

_love, love is going to lead you by the hand/into a white and soundless place/now we see things in a mirror dimly/then we shall see each other face to face…_


End file.
